As a practicing psychoanalyst/psychotherapist who treats adults and their children in a private setting, I have become acutely aware of a significant dynamic that affects most adolescents and their parents regarding the college application process. This time is often a pressure cooker for all involved when grades are essential to getting into a school of choice. The pressure may begin as early as Freshman year. It is also a time when families start planning campus visits. What I want to convey during this challenging period is to remember that, first and foremost, this is your child’s experience. Putting too much pressure on your child adds to a highly excitable time—school work, extracurriculars, friends, etc. Senior year is often fun, but all of this is an end to their high school career. They usually have one foot out the door and are dealing with the anxiety of growing up. In this time frame, feeling safe and comfortable cannot be underestimated for your student.

Parents, ask yourself how important it is to you where your child goes to college. Step back and try to understand why this is important to you. Please recognize that where your child goes to college is just a […]